About Counselling. stones for ind What Conditions Can it Help?

Difficulties in communication for individuals, for couples, or for two people in conflict; other life issues, particularly at this time with the ongoing stresses associated with the Covid viruses, and the worrying news that comes through every day.
For example:
  • learning to calm oneself down when in a state of worry and anxiety
  • learning to listen so that the other person is heard, and speaking so the other person can hear
  • arguing and fighting with your partner (or family member) more than you can bear, exacerbated by current stresses
  • ending or beginning a relationship
  • dealing with the crisis of infidelity, and re-envisioning the relationship and rebuilding trust
  • negotiating monogamy and fidelity in a couple
  • compulsive behaviour getting in the way of harmony and self-care, for example internet pornography
  • sex not being the way you want it, or painful sex, or loss of libido and sex in a long term relationship
  • cultural differences and expectations around sex and communication
  • history of trauma, for example early separation from parents through bereavement or boarding school
  • sexual issues between same sex couples
  • traumatic experiences of giving birth, and/or infant loss

    About Psychosexual and Relationship Counselling:

    Couples often find it easier to talk about sex and their relationship with a non-judgemental third party in the room, because the third party can facilitate and encourage openness in a safe space, and reflect back issues to both parties in language that does not contain blame and judgement. This is designed to help with understanding, which can lead to problem-solving and a deeper connection between two people. Individuals may just want someone to talk to about complex personal issues that have got in the way of easy relating to others.

    Some sexual problems are physical and could result from disability, illness, difficult birth-giving, or a side effect of medication. You may have already sought medical expertise and tests to establish this aspect, and we will discuss this.

    Some problems are psychological, originating in extreme negative childhood messages, physical assaults or accidents, or sexual trauma. Some difficulties can stem from current communication and interpersonal problems, for example a serious imbalance of power within a relationship. Evidence is that the majority of difficulties have a combination of physical and psychological elements, and both need attention. The body records all that happens to it, and will react when a negative trigger occurs. People usually revert to one or two of their best defensive mechanisms, which are fight, flight, freeze or fawn (placate). These defence mechanisms keep people temporarily safe, but do not lead to resolution, hence people fall into patterns.

    Unravelling psychological problems that aren't sorting themselves out and are making life less than wonderful is the job of therapy. These problems might be long-term, or something that has emerged recently, due to the stresses, anxiety and strain caused by the pandemic and the rising cost of living. Once they are unravelled and explored, it is easier to let go of what you don't need, and bring in what you do need in order to make warm and safe connections with others.

    What Benefits can be Expected?
    Some examples:

  • developing language that does not include blame, judgement, criticism,
    interpretation, analysis, or labelling
  • improved relationships and communication with significant others
  • more open discussions about sex
  • a change in behaviour and attitude in order to get more enjoyment out of
    life, for example lightening up and letting go of some old pain
  • learning how to navigate the transition from partners to parents
  • learning what to ask for in a medical check if it is needed
  • learning where to go for further training, reading matter, and group work
    if wanted
  • learning more about how to support children through a bad patch in a marriage
  • learning more how to support children's transition to adolescence
  • working towards collaborative separation if that is what is wanted
  • holding together after a traumatic experience of giving birth, post-natal problems, including infant loss

    and many more according your unique situation.